Suluk Jebeng

Puncak ilmu yang sempurna
Seperti api berkobar
Hanya bara dan nyalanya
Hanya kilatan cahaya
Hanya asapnya kelihatan

Ketahuilah wujud sebelum api menyala
Dan sesudah api padam
Karena serba diliputi rahasia
Adakah kata-kata yang bisa menyebutkan?

x

Jangan tinggikan diri melampaui ukuran
Berlindunglah semata kepada-Nya
Ketahui, rumah sebenarnya jasad ialah ruh
Jangan bertanya

Jangan memuja nabi dan wali-wali
Jangan mengaku Tuhan
Jangan mengira tidak ada padahal ada

x

Sebaiknya diam
Jangan sampai digoncang
Oleh kebingungan
x

Pencapaian sempurna
Bagaikan orang yang sedang tidur
Dengan seorang perempuan, kala bercinta
Mereka karam dalam asyik, terlena
Hanyut dalam berahi

x
Anakku, terimalah
Dan pahami dengan baik
Ilmu ini memang sukar dicerna

Gurindam Dua Belas

Fasal pertama:
Barang siapa mengenal yang empat
Maka dia itulah orang ma'rifat

Barang siapa mengenal Allah
Suroh dan tegah-Nya tiada ia menyalah

Barang siapa mengenal diri
Maka telah mengenal akan Tuhan Yang Bahari

Barang siapa mengenal dunia
Tahulah dia barang yang terpedaya

Barang siapa mengenal akhirat
Tahulah dia dunia melarat

Fasal kedua:
Apabila terpelihara mata
Sadikit chita chita

Apabila terpelihara kuping
Khabar yang jahat tidaklah damping

Bersunggoh sunggoh engkau memeliharakan
Tangan daripada segala berat ringan

Apabila perut terlalu penoh
Keluarlah fo'il yang tiada senonoh.

Fasal ketiga:
Hati itu kerajaan di dalam tuboh
Jikalau dzalim segala anggota pun roboh

Apabila dengki telah bertanah
Datanglah daripadanya beberapa anak panah

Mengumpat dan memuji hendaklah fikir
Di situlah banyak orang yang tergelinchir

Pekerjaan marah jangan dibela
Nanti hilang 'akal di kepala

Jika sadikit pun berbuat bohong
Boleh diumpamakan mulutnua pekong.

Fasal keempat:
Barang siapa meninggalkan sembahyang
Sapert rumah tidak bertiang

Barang siapa meninggalkan puasa
Tidaklah dapat dua temasha

Barang siapa meninggalkan zakat
Tidaklah hartanya boleh berkat

Barang siapa meninggalkan haji
Tidaklah ia menyempurnakan janji

Fasal kelima:
Jika hendak mengenal orang yang berbangsa
Lihat kepada budi dan bahasa

Jika hendak mengenal orang yang berbahagia
Sangat memeliharakan yang sia sia

Jika hendak mengenal orang yang mulia
Lihatlah kepada kelakuan dia

Jika hendak mengenal orang yang ber'akal
Didalam dunia mengambil bekal

Juka hendak mengnal orang baik perangai
Lihat pada ketika berchampor dengan orang ramai

Fasal keenam:
Chahari oleh mu akan sahabat
Yang boleh dijadikan ubat

Chahari oleh mu akan guru
Yang boleh tahukan tiap seteru

Chahri oleh mu akan kawan
Pileh segala orang yang setiawan

Chari oleh mu akan abdi
Yang ada baik sadikit budi

Fasal ketujuh:
Apabila banyak berkata kata
Disitulah jalan masok dusta

Apabila banyak berlebeh lebehan suka
Itulah tanda hampir duka

Apabila kita kurang siasat
Itulah tanda pekerjaan akan sesat

Apabila anak tiada dilateh
Jika besar bapanya letah

Apabila banyak menchela orang
Itulah tanda dirinya kurang

Fasal kedelapan:
Barang siapa khianat akan diri nya
Apa lagi kapada lainnya

Kapada dirinya ia aniaya
Orang itu jangan engkau perchaya

Lidah yang suka membenarkan diri nya
Daripada yang lain dapat kesalahan nya

Kejahatan diri sembunyikan
Kebajikan diri diamkan

Ke'aiban diri handak lah sangka
Ke'aiban orang jangan dibuka

Fasal kesembilan:
Kejahatan saorang perempuan tua
Itulah iblis punya penggawa

Kebanyakan orang muda2
Disitulah shaitan tempat tergoda

Ada pun orang tua yang hemat
Shaitan ta' suka membuat sahabat

Jika orang muda kuat berguru
Dengan shaitan jadi berseteru

Fasal kesapuloh
Dengan bapa jangan durhaka
Supaya Allah tidak murka

Dengan ibu hendaklah selamat
Supaya badan dapat selamat

Dengan anak jangan lah alpa
Supaya malu jangan menimpa

Dengan kawan hendaklah adil
Supaya tangan jadi kepil

Fasal kesabelas:
Hendaklah berjasa
Kapada yang sabangsa

Hendaklah jadi kepala
Buang perangai yang chela

Hendaklah memegang amanat
Buanglah khianat

Hendaklah mulai
Jangan melalui

Hendak ramai
Murahkan perangai

Fasal kedua belas:
Raja bermuafakat dengan menteri

Saperti kebun perpagar duri

Betul hati kepada raja
Tanda jadi sebarang kerja

Hukum adil kepada ra'ayat
Tanda raja beroleh inayat

Kasehan orang yang ber'ilmu
Tanda rahmat atas diri mu

Hormat akan orang yang pandai
Tanda mengenal kasa dan chindai

Growing Pain

I sat crouched at the darkest corner of the room. Praying he won’t find me. Yet anticipating that any moment he would get me. I heard his footsteps on the wooden floor. Purposely stumped to let me know he was coming. Peeping between my arms, my eyes caught the end of the cane first before I saw him. The cane’s end was slit into three to enforce more pain when hit. I crouched further. Trying to shrink my body. Knees clasped. Tangled hair covered my face. I wished to be invisible. But my heartbeat was giving myself away. It was beating too loud.

Suddenly I felt a sharp pain slashed through my body. I crawled onto the mattress, between the pillows. I hardened my body and stiffened. I made no sound. The blows came again and again. Then everything went quiet for a minute. “Are you dead?” he hollered. The sound muffled through the pillows covering my ears. He grabbed my shoulder trying to roll my body over. I clung to the pillows. Hit my back, not my face, I begged silently. I could’t bear to be ridiculed by my playmates when they see me. Being hit meant that I had done something seriously bad.

Being in a small village, the community ‘cared’ about each other. They would question my parents for the ‘sin’ or ‘crime’ I had done. So that when they meet each other on their way to the market or the public bath they had something to gossip.

Although I could remember the beating clearly, I couldn't recollect the wrong I had committed. Did I forget to do the chores that were assigned to me? Had I stolen fruits from the villagers’ orchards? Killed their chickens, maybe? I might have said something bad in retaliation to my friend’s abuses. Or could it be because I had startled my father when I called him suddenly from under the bed when he was passing by the opened window. I had fun. But he was clearly shocked. But then I was only nine and my father was forty.

Well, I slept the whole night. Not waking even when I was asked to have dinner. I woke up the next morning feeling very weak. I was not sick but famished. I crept down to the kitchen. Mum had prepared some cakes and my favorite pulut lemak and sambal tumis ikan bilis (glutinous rice cooked in coconut cream and a dish of anchovies fried with hot chilies and onions). And the sweet tea was so tantalizing.

I crumpled onto the floor leaning against the pillar. Looking at her with sad eyes. Usually mum would ask me to go clean myself first. But instead she put in front of me a plate, lined with banana leaves some more, to enhance the aroma of the steaming glutinous rice. And a cup of hot tea. “Eat...” was all she said. After I had eaten I couldn’t get up. I sat there watching my friends walked by to school.

“Hey!” someone shouted, “why aren't you going to school today?” I just blinked. “I will tell teacher. You are going to die!” she said. Meaning I will be in big trouble. Mum looked at me. Felt my forehead. Took a pillow and laid me down to rest. She then continued with her chores attending to the rest of my siblings getting ready to go to school. Their chattering filling the kitchen questioning her what was wrong with me.

That night I couldn't’t sleep for I had slept too long during the day. So I played with the imaginery 'dream crystals'. Some tiny, blurry, shiny objects that appeared from a dark corner. It rolled towards where I was lying. I would will it to move away, and it will disappear towards the wall only to appear again. Another would come from the previous source and I would shoo them away as soon as they got closer. Sometimes there would be three of them, not more. The game would go on until I fell asleep.

Another favourite pastime to lull me to sleep was flying into orbit. Lying on my stomach with my eyes pressed on my arms. Then I would be able to see the orbit and just fly into it. It was a very relaxing experience. You should try it. Crazy? Maybe.

I had always thought that this imagination game was mine alone. Decades later when we were reminiscing about our childhood I mentioned about this to two of my sisters. They too had been playing this game. None of us had mentioned it before. Tell me about yours.

Haiku

"Don't worry, spiders,

I keep house

casually."

"I'm going out,

flies, so relax,

make love."

"A huge frog and I,

staring at each other,

neither of us moves."

"A cuckoo singsto me,

to the mountain,

to me, to the mountain."

888

"Last time, I think,

I'll brush the flies

from my father's face."

"Asked how old he was,

the boy in the new kimono

stretched out all five fingers."

000

"Having slept, the cat gets up,

yawns, goes out

to make love."

"Hey, sparrow!

out of the way,

Horse is coming."

"These sea slugs,

they just don't seem

Japanese."

p

"Even with insects--

some can sing,

some can't."

p

"Children imitating cormorants

are even more wonderful

than cormorants."

"Not very anxious

to bloom,

my plum tree."

"That wren--

looking here, looking there.

You lose something?"

p

"The distant mountains

are reflected

in the eye of the dragonfly."

"A world of dew,

and within every dew

drop a world of struggle."

"The dog walks by

with a hat...

fallen leaf."

"O flea!

Whatever you do, don't jump;

that way is the river."

p

"O owl!

Make some other face.

This is spring rain."

p

"That gorgeous kite

rising

from the beggar's shack."

p

"I'm going to roll over,

so please move,

cricket."

"A firefly

creeping up my sleeve.

OK, I'm a blade of grass."

"Singing high ---

A cricket on a log

floating down the river."

Masya-Allah

I love Ramadan as the most relaxing month of the year. If you have the means, go for umrah. I had the most fantastic experience while I was there. In Medinah al-Munawwarah we stayed at a hotel very close to the Masjid-e-Nabawi.

Before breaking fast rows and rows of long plastics spread were laid out in the masjid to put food on. To see the Muslims seated down, talking only on soft voices, eating their food quietly was very touching. No rowdy voices, no shouting and no sign of being impatience.

Reminiscences. What I remembered most of my stay was lying on the bed and looking at Medinah alive at night from the reflections on the glass louvered windows. By shifting the glass position I could see more places. This enabled me to find the places I would like to go, the abaya shop or the nut stall. I managed to locate the dhobi shop this way.

In Mekah Al-Mukaramah we stayed at a hotel about a few meters away from Masjid-il-Haram. A very convenient location. Walking a few yards from the hotel to the main road there was the fried chicken restaurant at the junction. On the right was the grocery shop. Fresh vegetables and fruits were displayed right in front of it. Among others there were baby cucumbers, baby carrots, big tomatoes, brinjals, and red and green capsicums sold at affordable prices.

I simply love to do my walking alone. Aloof and serene. Window shopping for gifts and at night, sampling their fresh and pure fruit juices.

Coming back from the Masjid-il-Haram around 9 am, after the Fajr prayer, the sun shone bright into my eyes. But the weather was cool and breezy.

I would then prepare to go for miqat to Tana’im by bus. Jaranah, another place for miqat is rather far away. On the first day I had followed a group of 20 by van. It was so packed like sardines. The men refused to be separated from their wives. So I had to bear it and held my breath until we reached the destination.

To buy the bus ticket was not a problem. I would stand at a distance to study the situation. Then I squeezed in from the side and held my hand high to the ticket seller. ‘Tana’in, asyreen!’ I shouted. The seller held my hand, put in two tickets and took away my four rials. ‘Syukran!’ I said and squeezed back out from the crowd. Then I studied where exactly the bus would stop and waited. The moment the door opened, I climbed in without any hassle.

On certain days I would complete two umrah rituals. Our stay was limited and I had a target to achieve and a plan to accomplish.

Don’t have to worry about food. Along the way people grabbed you to give fruits, drinks and food. I used to dislike yogurt. Ironically I got none. But my sis got packets of them. Even on the first day at Medinah I refused the Arabic bread because the lady had put it under her arm. During my stay there I did not see or given any more bread. Again, from the very first day we were given a cup full of soft golden dates that melt in the mouth and tasted like butter, and two cups of Arabic tea. This had become a daily routine. There was once when we were doing sa’i and the muezzin called for the evening prayers. It was also the time to beak fast. Not aware of the time, we had nothing prepared. My sister suggested we took some zam-zam water. No, I said, just wait. Someone tapped us from the back and handed us a cup of golden dates and two cups of tea. Another handed us a cup of zam-zam water. Masya-Allah.

Lailatul-Qadar. We had set the alarm clock for 1.00 am. We had intended to do the tahajud prayers and qiamulail until Fajr. We were only awaken when by the muezzin called for the Fajr prayer. My sis was very disappointed and sad that she cried in her prayers and continued to sob. When we reached the hotel lobby someone reminded us ‘not to miss to-nite, it’s Lailatul Qadar.’ The night of 27 Ramadan. We had miscalculated. I felt that God had answered her prayers that He reversed the time.

I couldn’t remember a day when we were late for any jama’ah prayers. However far we were from the masjid we could always make it on time. I remembered on Aidul Fitri. Masjid-il-haram was packed. The sun was right overhead, that was hard to see clearly. There was an overflow of people that half the main road was already filled with Muslims ready to do the Aidul prayer. I pulled my sister towards Babul-Umar a distance away. We entered and found empty spaces. From there we can see the congregation above and hear the Imam loud and clear.

I like to pray at places of my choice. I remember praying at an isolated space under the open sky within Masjid-ilharam. It was the most beautiful, peaceful and fantabulous experience in my life. Alhamdulillah…

Courtesy

I like to watch Korean shows. Apart from their beautiful scenery I love to listen to their melodious speech. I also noticed one of their customs which is very admirable. They know how to respect their guests. It is their tradition to offer their guests drinks. At home or even at the road side stalls they are given a glass of water the moment they are seated. We are taught to respect our guests too. We offer drins to travellers who could be thirsty even after a short trip. I will usually ask my guest for their preference of cold or hot drink. Most health conscious people will ask for a hot drink, not too sweet, or sky juice. Some, after refusing and profusely asking the host not to bother, will take anything.

I had often been offered thick milk tea or Milo which I had to sip out of respect. Sometimes before any damage is done I will ask for warm water.

Nowadays, since I had become a salesperson I visit more. I find that some people are less generous. After talking for more than an hour and your throat is becoming dry, no one seems to notice. Sometimes we had to travel quite a distance to their place, after they agree to see us. We explained the benefits of taking care of their health without charge or obligation. When it is over we packed our bags and head for the canteen. Are marketing people not your guests? What happened to courtesy?

A friend told me of his meeting with a prospect who had agreed to see him. For nearly an hour during his explanation the guest was busy watching a game on tv. Soon as he finished he excused himself, thanks the host and left. He had done his duty, to explain. If you are against sales people, at least give him due respect as your guest. He is not asking you for your hard earned money.

Our duty is just to share our knowledge and invite others to benefit from the biz. Well, if you are not worth it, you just can’t see the goodness.

In Sickness

1989 . When mum passed away I had a break-down. Her death was not the cause. I can’t explain how I felt then. But it was the terrible fear of death. It was very real and acute fear. My breathing would become heavy, my heart felt contrite, I became weak. All I could do was cry. The attack would come without warning, at anytime. It intensified when I heard the azan. I had to see the doctor every week and was on tranquilizers. It lasted for seven months. I even marked the calendar every 40 days to wait for my death. Imagine, when I was traveling in a car, a lorry came from the opposite direction, I would tell myself ‘this is it!’. I would close my eyes awaiting the bang. When nothing happened the fear lingered on for 2-3 excruciating minutes.

One Fine Day I met someone. She noticed my condition and invited me to her place. Two weeks later she came to see me and insisted that I follow her. I did. I met her friends and Guru who asked me to do zikrullah . To always think of Allah. After a few months I was slowly back to normal. I was with the group learning, bersolat, berzikir, bersuluk for two years. Since my father in law came to stay I seldom can free myself to go. As a ‘punishment’ I was banned from attending any activities until I was ready to commit myself. He passed away after three months. And I stopped seeing my friends. While it lasts I had some strange yet beautiful experiences. (To share ab this later.)